Fear of Clowns

"Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable."
- H. L. Mencken
gozz@gozz.com

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Joe the Plumber 

Is a friggin' idiot.

JOE: I explained to him that I'm planning on purchasing this company - it's not something I'm gonna purchase outright, it's something I'm going to have to make payments on for years - but essentially I'm going to buy this company, and the profits generated by that could possibly put me in that tax bracket he's talking about and that bothers me ...

INTERVIEWER: Would that plumbing business employ other people or would it just employ you?

JOE: Eventually it would employ other people. Right now it's a two man shop ...

So Joe is going to buy out his partner or boss, make payments for years and eventually be among the richest few percent of Americans. GO AMERICA! BOO OBAMA!

INTERVIEWER: So a potential tax increase - how do you see that affecting your ability to hire more people to work with you at your company?

JOE: Obviously these are hypothetical questions to a degree because I don't know what the economy is going to do...

INTERVIEWER: Of course.

JOE: Essentially what that would do is, I'd have to see how much money is available after everything else is paid, to see if I can one, afford a new vehicle, two, outfit it, and then three, pay a good salary. And if I'm being taxed too much, one of those three things is going to get shorted. One, I won't be able to buy as good a good vehicle or I won't stock it as well, or the guy I hire - if I'm able to hire somebody - is not going to make as much as he should.

Dreaming about making a quarter million dollars in taxable income a year and he's already sure he can't pay his imaginary employees a decent salary. What a schmuck.

INTERVIEWER: Okay, and then he talked about 10, 15 years ago maybe you weren't making that sort of money, how would you feel - if you were just starting out, or maybe looking back - the kind of tax cut that he's promising for other people, does that still make you think that that's a great idea?

JOE: No. See, I believe in working for what I get. I don't want to say it's a handout, but essentially that's what it comes down to. You're going to tax someone else more that's been working hard to fulfill the American Dream and you're gonna give it to other people who - I'm not saying they don't work as hard, but I'm sure some of them don't - and I don't think it's right just to give it to them or reduce taxes on their part and hike it up on my part like a teeter totter to bring it back even. So no, that wouldn't - well, let me rephrase that. It would appeal to me because back then I was struggling. That kind of thing appeals to me - anybody wants to cut my taxes, I look at it very seriously ...

Tax cuts for people like me, or maybe people like me who don't work as hard is a handout ... because that means people like me, er them I mean, you're going to tax me more, at least after I spend years buy my whole two man plumbing deal and am on the road to being a millionaire. Er, strike that, that actually appeals to me ... but if someone offers me a tax cut, I have to think about it real hard.

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